The "PICK ME" | Profile and Relationship Fate

If you've ever come across a woman who sacrifices her self-interest and demeans her self-worth and value to attain validation from males, you've most likely witnessed, what is called a "pick-me". She lacks self-importance and believes that it's her duty and purpose to preserve the image and stroke the ego of inadequate males. This is a one-sided investment, where "PMs" rejoice over mediocre rewards such as recognition. The pedestaling of individuals, based on their character traits, is an active notion of superiority.

How Is A "Pick-Me" Created?

Before we address how a "Pick-Me" is created, it's vital to understand the origin of this term. The term "Pick-Me" derives from the concept of a "Teachers Pet". This is because just like the "teacher's pet", the "PM" is a people pleaser, attention seeker and someone who seeks validation from the object of their affection. The "PM" stops at nothing to achieve their goals and tends to invest a lot of energy, time, and effort to garner the attention of their focus. Self-gaslighting, invalidation of own experiences and lack of self-worth are the recipes that create a Pick Me.

The "Pick-Me" was created through social conditioning, whilst there are numerous avenues where this can be done, the most popular ways are through religion, social media, politics, racial biases and culture. Ladies who consistently surround themselves with non-productive males of society, risk becoming "Pick-Me's". The more exposure a lady has to such males, the more likely her ears attend to their perceived social disposition. "PM's" are cultivated by and for the male ego, to tend to wounds of inadequacy. These are males who lack a leadership mindset, as Author Napoleon Hill depicts in his book, "Think and Grow Rich, they are also males who are not self-actualised, according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Such exposure causes "PM's" to develop inflated levels of empathy towards them. As a result, she becomes an enabler by making excuses for his poor performance in society and alludes his "misrepresented" image as a direct conspiracy and attack of the "Matrix".

The Dangers of A "Pick-Me" Towards Women

Evil has no form it is a spirit. Therefore, any character profile of evil is just a bias. The Bible talks about the wolf in sheep’s clothing and the "Pick-Me" fit that description like a glove. They pose as allies but they behave as enemies towards other women.

In my interactions and observations of "Pick Me's", they have shown zero compassion or regard for the welfare of other ladies and girls, they seem to channel this towards males. Much grace is given as "PM" believe that males are helpless and systematically oppressed. Whilst there may be a level of truth to this, the exemption of accountability and integrity should not be applied in all instances.

"Pick-Me" pose a threat to ladies and young girls because they have no issue overlooking female victims of abuse and manipulation at the hands of males. As a result, it is very common to witness "PMs" engaging in physical or verbal altercations in defence of males. Under the guidance of believing a male can do no wrong, "PM's" always redirect their anger and confrontation of a cheating partner, towards the woman involved.

Saying "NO" Is Dangerous

Being “YES” women proves that men do not have to work for what they want. This is planting a seed of entitlement amongst males who cannot take "No" for an answer. Rejection cannot kill a male but if that male is mentally unstable, that same rejection may cause fatal consequences towards women. "PMs" exercise self-condemnation and go against their own self-interest, by doing so, they influence the hurt upon other women and young girls.

How To Identify a "Pick Me"?

PMs are everywhere and go by many names/titles, most commonly, Social Justice Warriors, Mammies (Urban American term) and Male Identified Women (MIW). They are Grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunties, cousins and peers, who take up many positions in society. If ever they are in positions or work that causes them to be in close proximity to males, best believe that they will find ways to alleviate any form of distress on the males. This is even more dangerous if there is a PM working in jail houses, they may ensure that criminals have a pleasant stay and even worse, if possible, plot ways to help deadly criminals escape. As you can imagine, an influential "Male identified" member of the jury is a complete disaster to behold. The "Pick Me" will often weaponise the term "self-hate" and "racism" (if applicable) to deflect from dysfunctional behaviours performed by the objects of their affection.

As much as "PM's" believe to be protecting the males they defend, they are slowly and corrosively destroying them further from the inside out. Protecting and defending males stunts their growth from becoming self-governing, emotionally strong and productive citizens of society. The consistent act of not holding males accountable robs them of any attempt to become self-actualised.

As a result, males resent women because of the "PMs" low expectations of them. Innately males understand that they need boundaries to be instructed on how they ought to navigate. Having free range, without consequence does not present the challenge that males thrive on. Is there a wonder why males find video games, sports and competitions appealing? "Pick-Me's" are not respected by the objects of their affection, they serve a purpose as ego-strokers and quick pick-me-ups when they feel insignificant.

The Social Media "Pick-Me's"

The "Pick Me" finds it hard to stand up for the truth, especially if it jeopardises the image of a man and in most cases, it’s predicated on shared characteristics like race. The evidence of any wrongdoing is explained away, in ways that portray that male as a victim and all accountability gets redirected to external factors. In the eyes of PMs, males can do no wrong, so, any woman that’s caught up in collateral damage is always at fault. It is no wonder why the femicide rate is increasing and sadly other women are indirectly responsible. Being desensitised and numb to the pain of other women cannot be justified.

The very public case of Megan Thee Stallion and Tory Lanez displayed a classical scenario where the victim is portrayed as the villain, based on the identity of the perpetrator. In case you're unfamiliar with this horrific story, Tory Lanes shot Megan in her foot, after leaving a party, back in 2020. Initially, Megan tried to withhold the identity of the perpetrator (Tory Lanez), to prevent him from being penalised by law enforcement. However, after insults and snide, social media, remarks from Tory Lanez, she was provoked into telling the truth about what actually transpired that fatal night. Throughout this very public trial, many people took to social media to express their views. There was an overwhelming amount of women siding with Tory Lanez. This exposed and proved that Pick-me-ism is a real epidemic, taking over our population. Right is wrong and wrong is right, particularly, when there's a male perpetrator of a particular demographic. Pick Me's have single-handedly created a "protected class" at their own expense.

Women of The Manosphere

Many female content creators who persist under the banner of "Red-Pill" rhetoric, proudly identify as "Pick-Me's". These women seem unconcerned about how their seemingly harmless content pardons a male's intent to manipulate women. This is done as their content regurgitates and supports the plight of incels. These ideals are pushed for monetary gains, increased following, and an appraisal from socially awkward males. Consequently, "Red-Pill" content continues to dampen a male's natural competitive drive to pursue self-actualisation which leads to healthy relationships with women. As women choose to support incels in this way, they validate unfavourable behaviours which have a lasting destructive impact on their followers. This further prevents such males from seeking much-needed guidance offline.

The Nature of Balance

The nurturing aspect of women causes them to be natural protectors, and usually protectors of other women and young girls. However, when a woman experiences internal conflict, her nature becomes off balance. Often this presents itself as to having a scarcity mindset or acting in a state of survival. The "Pick-Me" goes about seeking male validation for emotional supply and security to fill a void. It is, however, possible to support and attain healthy attention from men without the need to throw women and girls under the bus. But this only comes when a lady truly understands her value and the psychosocial nature of males and females.

Distinguishing the difference between right and wrong is not predicated on solely siding with one gender at the expense of another. Healthy-minded individuals make judgements without bias or prejudice. They are not a respecter of persons, regardless of the gender, demographic or character traits of the parties involved. This means that although I am a lady, I am not oblivious to the wrongdoings of other ladies. One rule should apply to all human behaviour, this is true justice.

The "Pick Me" and Offspring in Danger

With all the devotion and investment poured into the object of their affection, one would think that a "pick-me" wins her prize of reciprocation, however, this ideal is furthest from reality. The "Pick-Me" has shown her cards and potential abusers and narcissist are intrigued, so much so, they are drawn to her like flies to a pile of sh*t. The low-self esteem, lack of standards, immorality and self-condemnation that a "pick-me" displays are the perfect recipe that is accommodating to abusers.

Based on the validation she receives, the "Pick-Me" strongly believes that her attitude and character are integral and just. She fails to understand that all validation is not equal, but the low-quality validations are what fuels and drives "Pick-Me's" to continue being "Pick-Me's". As a result, this behaviour continues on into romantic relationships. When a "Pick-Me" has children, she exposes her offspring to abuse of all kinds, especially if she has daughters. The love she has for any of her partners will override the love she should have for her offspring. The PM's high level of devotion towards her male counterpart prevents her from forming healthy bonds and connections with other ladies. As a result, she may have a group of lady friends who possess similar behaviour traits and unhealthy exaggerated views of males. This causes "Pick-Me's" to be isolated from alternative help and healthy perspectives that could support her in moments of abuse from her partner.

As it may be true that no marriage or relationship is easy, a PM's persistence takes that notion to a whole new level. Such women place marriage and romantic relationships in high regard. They take the vow, "till death do us part" quite literally. For this reason, they will not leave their abusive partners because they want to maintain their "wife" title and appearance. In most cases, a PM's marriage will only end if her husband files for divorce. With their husbands being aware of this, It increases the likelihood of them becoming serial abusers (Emotional, Physical, Verbal, Financial and Psychological). Until PMs decide to positively change their mindset and recognise their value, they will forever risk themselves and their potential offspring to be at the receiving end of abuse.

Conclusion

With all that being addressed, this article concludes that the "Pick-Me" is a ride-or-die Bonnie to her Clyde. She is a danger to society and most definitely a danger to herself. She has subtle undertones of irrationality that have explosive impacts on the world around her. On a personal note, I cannot envision myself as an African woman, protecting the image of an African male, based on shared background. The same is also true for shared gender. As mentioned earlier, wrongdoing and evil do not have an assigned appearance, gender or class. Everyone has a choice and with that comes consequences, nobody is exempt.

When reflecting on the Tory Lanez and Megan Thee Stallion Case, justice is not a respecter of persons. In my opinion, justice was served when the verdict read: Lanez was convicted of three felony counts after shooting Megan Thee Stallion in 2020.

Subscribing to the no-snitch culture, Is non-integral. If people eliminated this concept we will experience safer dwellings in society. Upholding justice irrespective of people, would indirectly encourage ill-willed individuals to develop self-control, accountability and most importantly, integrity. For this reason, I consider snitching an act of good and not evil. Having zero loyalty towards criminality but loyal to righteousness. Unfortunately, criminals often have allies that involve "Pick-Me's" who protect them no matter the crime committed.