The Friend Zone: A Resourceful Vetting Zone

Oftentimes, the friend zone is used to politely decline romantic advances from those we have zero interest. But what if we were to remove the stigma of the friend zone by utilising this space for successful dates of potential prospects?

I say all this because I believe that the intentional use of the friend zone has great benefits. Having the potential to save our life, time, and energy. The notion of feeling rushed into sexual relations is a red flag. Some men exploit intercourse and love bombing to create premature emotional attachments. Getting caught up in this mess, Is intended to confuse all sense of clarity and discernment, making it harder to identify and evacuate from unhealthy relationship ties.

I’m going, to be honest. I may have watched one too many episodes of romance scammers, swindlers, and love rats. I've wondered if victims of love scammers had implemented the friend zone, would they have suffered their fate?

The friend zone is recognised as an intimidating place because it’s known to impact a person’s need for instant gratification. The natural flow of getting to know someone is a slow pace. So, people with disposable, ill intentions lack the patients needed to withstand this process. Moving at a slower pace automatically gives off a friend zone vibe, so zero announcements are needed. This helps in observing the nature of people, to determine whether we can coexist with aligned intentions. When dating, the absence of emotional attachment exposes character traits that assist in determining the progression of that relationship. Whereas having emotions involved causes us to overlook clear red flags, which is natural as:

Love covers a multitude of sins. - 1 Peter 4:8

If we were to adopt the friend zone, it should be a short-term season of the dating process. The duration of friend zoning is entirely up to you bearing in mind your goals and values to observe whether these are complemented, reflected, and important to the person you are dating. We’d be able to recognise this best through his character, actions, and attitude.

For instance, is he consistent, has integrity, and most importantly, do his actions reflect his words?

This is where self-examination comes in, because if you tend to compromise your non-negotiables, then this is a sign that inner work is needed, and dating may need to be placed on hold until self-assurance of who you are with ten toes firmly cemented.

The success of dating is possible when we know exactly what we want without wavering.

Who qualifies to be "Friend Zoned"?

The term “FRIEND ZONE” is a big clue as to the qualities already possessed by people in this place. The friend zone should be seen as a privilege because it still grants access to our presence. So, not every date should qualify to remain unless they’ve displayed traits of a friend, which are also beneficial qualities to expect in a potential life partner or husband.

Friend zoning people we like is one of the most courageous acts to successfully pull off. The attraction has a way of influencing premature inappropriate behaviour due to temptation. Remember, self-control and discipline is a sign of strength which teaches others about your standards and boundaries that reflect your value. As a result, respect is served at your feet, on a platter.

When we stop operating from a place of scarcity, we’d have no fear of losing anything or anyone we desire. Just know that whatever is for you will stand the test of patience. Slowing things down through friend-zoning, allows us to discover more nuances that lay beneath the surface. Unbeknownst to you, there are games being played that you have no idea you're participating in. Your opponent is out to win by any means necessary. Your only responsibility is to ensure that your self-preservation guards are high. So, until absolute certainty about the person you are dating, you can take as long as needed, to ensure that your goals are met without compromising your non-negotiables.

The Consequence of Setting Boundaries

As a side note, manipulators always expose themselves in their response to your ability to stay grounded and your ability to leave. They will often display abusive tendencies once their connection with you has ended, if not during. This is where you can give credit for using the friend zone in helping you make the right decision.

Put on the whole armour of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. - Ephesians 6:11

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Practice the arts of what it means to priorities your values whilst engaging in multiple dating. Once implemented, you'll find the practice of friend zoning easy to carry out.

Happy Friend Zoning!