Who To Choose? The Man VS The Male

It is rare for any man to admit to being unfit for a relationship. The majority will claim to be "high value" and "good men". This is why it is essential to analyse the two major categories of XYs. This post is determined to distinguish the difference between "men" and "males". Lately, the concept of the "High-Value" man has been floating around social media, however, I don't believe this concept is helpful in identifying a man with honour and integrity. The notion of "High-Value" has materialist ideals that misguide ladies and young girls to inappropriately select what a healthy man actually looks like. Almost every male these days will either claim to be "High-Value" or "a good man" without any substantial evidence.

Ladies, it's time to understand that applied knowledge is power. Observing actions whilst plugging your ears is the best strategy to navigate your decision-making skills.

Defining the difference between a "Man" and a "Male" will help in selecting romantic partners wisely. The way to successfully implement intentional dating comes as a result of being well-informed. To attract a particular type of man into our orbit requires understanding their nature and what their underline motives are. Personalities may vary, but, the motive and intent of a man are based on their needs.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

In my 3yrs of studying psychology and sociology, I was introduced to Maslow's hierarchy of needs. His theory offers insight into understanding human needs and what truly motivates/promotes drive towards the ultimate goal of self-actualisation.

Maslow mentions that motivation decreases when a person is deficient in having their needs met. This means that until one attains sufficient resources, one will not be able to strive beyond that point. On the flip side, motivation is said to increase once lower-tier needs are met. This is the very moment that a person shows up as their best self.

Applying Maslow's theory can assist ladies to vet potential suitors whilst dating. The aim is to select a man who has all needs of the lower tier met. This is vital because when those needs are not met, men act in their lower nature of survival which induces animalistic behaviours. This is the "male", he acts in his lower nature because he is in survival mode, and because of this, males are likely to engage in criminal activities. When ladies and girls have dealings with males, their exposure to danger increases.

Who teaches us more than the beasts of the earth, and makes us wiser than the fowls of heaven? - Job 35:11

Whilst humans are advanced beings, It's useful to study the nature of other male and female species because their behaviour is organic blue-prints, without manufactured influence and ulterior motives. If you study males across all species from least to greatest, there is a common theme among them which can be analysed, side by side with male humans.

Males vs. Females: Sexual Conflict

This is an interesting video that looks at male and female sexual natures across species. It's interesting how males all seem to have one thing that drives their pursuit of females.

In the era of the podcast, unproductive males from all over the globe attempt to convince women that infidelity is a natural sport for men. They say this whilst justifying that males do not form emotional attachments with intimate partners. However, they are opposed to the idea of women cheating and state it as unjustifiable. They perceive that a woman's nature is to form emotional connections through intercourse. For this reason, they believe that women should not engage in infidelity. This is a display of the territorial and predatory nature of males. Males have exclaimed that a cheating woman is unforgivable, meanwhile, they expect women to allow them to cheat whilst remaining loyal to them. This ideology is exploitative and shows a lack of self-discipline and control. People who lack self-discipline and self-control tend to be extremely emotional, impulsive and highly manipulative. As shown in the video, males are driven by their sexual appetite, so they have an innate desire to hunt and conquer until sexual appetites are achieved. One could even go as far as to suggest that a male's highest aspiration is having multiple sexual partners. Males cannot emotionally handle women cheating or leaving them, often the outcome is quite fatal for women.

On a personal note, I am truly thankful for the internet and you should be too, the more emboldened males feel to talk, the more ladies gain an understanding of the male psyche. We have exposure to knowledge that can equip us for self-preservation.

When we analyse Maslow's hierarchy of needs, it is quite obvious that "males" are trapped in the very lower physiological, safety and at the very most, love/belonging tier of needs. These males should never pursue relationships until they have gained some "esteem" at the very least. If not, the relationships encountered will be toxic and unfulfilling for any lady involved. If such males are involved in any relationship, it will stunt his progression. Let's take a closer look at the very top of the hierarchy "SELF-ACTUALIZATION", this tier depicts healthy-minded individuals, this is what a "MAN" embodies. Notices at the bottom of the list is "acceptance of facts", this is interesting because it suggests that males are incapable of accepting facts and therefore operate through delusions.

This is exactly what we witness male podcast creators reflecting through their red-pill, manosphere rhetoric. The primary focus of every content they produce is centred around their woes in society and their inability to attain women. They express a strong disdain towards women and girls by assigning inappropriate titles as points of reference. In my opinion, the growing disdain towards mothers is a result of the welfare system granting unworthy males access to fatherhood. A healthy woman's natural selective process would decline most males' access to her reproductive system. However, acting in this divine position impacts birth rates and controls the genetic pool of unfavourable males ceasing to exist. Amongst all-female species, there is an innate drive to select males based on their strengths, resources and genetics. However, the presents of patriarchy and the welfare system have caused women to make unnatural selections, with lowered expectations of males. This has resulted in an increased lack of appreciation towards women and mothers as a collective.

Ladies, where there is contempt there is no love. These males cannot love at all, their skewed perception makes them unlovable and damaged. If you love your life, you would avoid them at all costs.

Males (Incels) perceive women and girls as opponents in the game of life, so they have an undertone of being a part of a "gender war". This is often displayed through their rejoicing as they watch women go through various forms of distress. They show a lack of compassion and empathy and demonstrate aggressive tendencies towards women and girls on and offline.

According to Thompson, K. (2021), there are approximately equal numbers of men and women in the population as a whole, but 85% of people arrested are men, around 75% of them are prosecuted and 95% of people who go to prison are men, meaning women only make up 5% of the total prison population. Whilst some may argue this to be a depiction of gender inequality within the social justice system, it still highlights the presents of more "males" than civilised "men" in society. If there are an equal amount of males and females in society, as Thompson states, then the majority of those who act in their lower nature, through criminal activity, are males.

Male and Female Nature

Most ladies have been led to believe that males have the same emotional capacity as females. However, this belief has left many of us disappointed and heartbroken. Whilst women have been said to be the most emotionally unstable in comparison to males, I've come to the understanding that males, who are the majority, seemingly appear more emotional than women. This is less about the battle of the sexes but rather about discovering new ways to benefit from our interactions with the opposite sex. It appears that males are one step ahead in their awareness of female nature through observing their mothers, sisters, friends etc. However, the same is not true in reverse for a number of reasons.

The Naïve Woman Meets The Con Artist

When women completely let their guard down they are in trust mode, however, trust can be garnered through manipulation in the absence of awareness. The majority of women seem completely oblivious to male nature. This has been reflected through the overwhelming publicised exposure to female victims of swindlers, con-artist and scammers. This is a clear indication that most women underestimate the emotional capacity of males and their lack of empathy.

With regard to relationships, most of us require our counterparts to offer the same measure of emotional support as we do for them. However, my theory is that males are incapable of regulating their own emotions, therefore, it is impossible to require this emotional function from them. For instance, there are stats that confirm that males have a higher tendency to commit suicide, along with having higher levels of aggression, anxiety and depression, which are all forms of unregulated emotions. Males are also shown to have the inability to form healthy emotional connections which stem from their inability to possess emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence

Whilst this scratches the surface of understanding male nature, it already proves that ladies have unrealistic expectations of males by assuming that males are capable of applying emotional intelligence.

Evan (2017) states that just 35% of men are emotionally intelligent. That is a large number of men who are lacking this function. Therefore, having such an expectation can create frustration due to not requiring a male for their general capabilities only. Female nature, on the other hand, is totally different, the sooner we realise this, the better we can place our ideals in their correct perspectives. The female nature is to nurture, so it makes sense that we have a higher chance of being emotionally intelligent. Males do not innately have the capacity to offer emotional support nor handle their own emotions, hence the increased levels of imprisonment, suicide, depression, anxiety and so on. It is exhausting to expect something from someone who simply cannot deliver, so why must we torture ourselves with this requirement?

Homosocial Bonding

Many ladies are familiar with males who prefer hanging out with males over their partners. This has raised numerous questions about their sexuality. However, the term "Homosocial" refers to same-sex relationships between heterosexual males. Why might this be worth understanding? Being a huge advocate for dating with intention, it's a great idea to get familiar with certain aspects of male nature. The homosocial is one of them.

This frame was taken from the movie "fight club". This is a good betrayal of the homosocial male. These males exercise their ego by being boastful and showing off amongst other males for validation, approval and appraisal. They strive to be seen as an alpha male in a collective group.

This is why they engage in sometimes extreme competitions. This competitive nature brings out the consumer aspects of males to the extent that everything associated with them is used to enhance their image amongst their peers. The level of competitiveness is determined by the social class of such groups. There are different rules that apply to different classes. For example, if you go to impoverished areas of a city, you'll often find a group of males who hang out in packs all wearing dark-coloured clothing, as their uniform, smoking, and standing around particular spots doing absolutely nothing but stroking each other's ego. The notion of homosocial has been manifested in various types of songs that glorify heterosexual relationships with other males, this is why we heard terms like "Bros before Ho*s", "No Homo" and the list goes on.

Incels tend to mingle with other Incels because their experiences are the same. Oftentimes, their denied access to women causes them to become homosocial and develop what we call "bromance". Whilst seemingly positive, such relationship dynamics further prevent them from any likelihood of developing healthy relationships with the opposite sex. Oftentimes, Incels act as crabs in the bucket, they will sabotage any attempt of progression to keep the group intact. These Incels aka minions' objectify women, in that they do not perceive them as humans but rather as a muse.

A Man Is Created, Not Birthed.

Selecting From The Highest Tier

All female species in the animal population are aware of male nature. Whether the males like it or not, females have always chosen top-tier males to ensure the productivity of healthy and strong genes remains to stand the test of time. Human females share the same responsibility but our selective nature has been manipulated by various factors. The patriarchal system has been a major factor, as women previously selected partners as a means of survival. It was hard for unwedded women to access some of life's necessities such as a home, finances, medical care etc. However, this societal requirement exposed numerous women to unhealthy and abusive unions with males who took them for granted.

Whilst this may still be a factor, women are more at liberty to be more intentional and selective, thanks to the feminist movement. In Western societies, women have more freedom of choice. As you can imagine, many males do not like this new reality because it threatens their likelihood of being selected. This is why we have an epidemic of "lonely males" and also explains why "Passport Bros" has become a new movement amongst males who seek "traditional" women in 3rd world countries. The tables have turned as women decide to choose themselves over mediocre, unfulfilling relationships.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we learnt the difference between a male and a man. We successfully uncovered what to look out for when considering a potential partner. Only 35% of men are capable of emotional intelligence and Maslow's theory advises that a self-actualised man is to be sought after.

There are many great qualities of "Men", but sadly "males" outnumber them. Being in a relationship does not make a woman any more or less valuable, because her value is innate. However, external factors, experiences and influences can tarnish her value. A woman who lacks value is one that goes against her own self by not supporting the best interest of herself and the interest of girls and other women. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, healthy human beings possess the qualities listed at the very top of the pyramid. This means the acceptance of facts, problem-solving, morality and creativity aka thoughtfulness are qualities that cause one to acknowledge the needs of others and society at large. This is where we get women who recognise how their own choices and contributions assist the good of society. Allies can only be generated as a result of self-actualisation because they are without prejudices. When a woman becomes self-actualised, she increases her chances of attracting self-actualised counterparts. This is where true reciprocation of love is found.

Although the chances seem slim (35% EI), settling is never an option. In order to achieve this, a stern list of values, expectations, boundaries and standards needs to be noted. As we learnt men, have the capacity for emotional intelligence and are self-actualised. They do not have criminal records, they are rational, ambitious, self-disciplined, self-governing, morally guided, confident and good problem-solvers. These qualities were inspired by Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Some say "choose better", well choosing better potentially means not choosing them.

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REFERENCE

Evan (2017). A Good Man Is Hard to Find. Only 35% of Men Are Emotionally Intelligent. [online] Evan Marc Katz. Available at: https://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/understanding-men/a-good-man-is-hard-to-find-only-35-of-men-are-emotionally-intelligent.

Thompson, K. (2021). Gender and Crime Statistics. [online] ReviseSociology. Available at: https://revisesociology.com/2021/06/13/gender-and-crime-statistics/.

www.merriam-webster.com. (n.d.). Definition of HOMOSOCIAL. [online] Available at: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/homosocial.